When the pet adoption center suddenly arrived in the abandoned plaza that sat near your home, you thought with curiosity—how interesting! There hadn't been shops in this place EVER in your living memory. As a child, you rode your bike in the parking lot, sliding in the winter and picking daisies from the cracks in the asphalt in the summer. The whole place had been locked up and left behind, and so by the time you were grown, it really resembled the set of a horror movie. You know the one, like Hostel or something like that. But then one day a sign appeared: GRAND OPENING. And so you arrived, to satisfy your curiosity… 

Now you stand awkwardly tall in front of a small, green, what is he? A LEPRECHAUN? 

“Well, hello there! You are officially the first customer of the brand-new Mythical Creature Adoption Center! C’mon in as I put this beautiful phoenix in its cage…”

But before you follow him in, you ask: “Mythical creature?” 

He responds as if he anticipated your question. “You see, these creatures exist in an alternate universe, in a world just like ours, but filled with all the animals you hear about only in stories.” He looks back at you, expectantly. 

“If that phoenix right there is real, how long until it incinerates itself?” you ask. 

The leprechaun grins like a Cheshire Cat: “I would say anywhere from five hundred years to one thousand! They truly are magnificent creatures. Are you thinking of adopting one? It really is easy to take care of them. Chances of them actually burning up in your lifetime are quite small…and as pets, they are wonderful. Very loyal. And sometimes, they talk.”

You stand there slack-jawed, doubting that the creatures you’ve heard about countless times in stories actually exist. But you take another look at the phoenix and rub your eyes. Both the bird and little man still stand in front of you, gazing deep into your eyes. 

“No…no…not now,” whispers the leprechaun, turning his head to look at the phoenix. “NO! I SAID NOT NOW!”

A spark starts from the phoenix’s claws and creeps its way up, the flames multiplying by the second. The fire completely engulfs the animal until the flames reach the “A” on the adoption center sign. 

The leprechaun’s expression shifts from panic to intrigue and perhaps a little of his “salesman” mode… “Watch this! Watch as it rises from its ashes again!”

You are still not quite sure of the sanity of this little man, or of yourself, to be frank. Because indeed, a new phoenix forms from the ashes right in front of you… but:

“GAH! NOT AGAIN! NO, NO, NO, MY HAIR!”

The leprechaun looks at you wide-eyed as a hole is burned out of his hair. And for a moment, you consider calling him out on the fact that five hundred to a thousand years seems very similar to one second, but you think better of it.

Stammering, the leprechaun says, “Don’t worry, this is normal. Uh…uh it’s because…uhm… let’s just go into the store now, why don’t we?” 

And with that, the little man wheels the phoenix in, but the bird burns up again and rebirths itself. When you look into the eyes of the creature, you think you see exhaustion, fatigue, or maybe resignation? 

“So you see, this is actually totally normal. The phoenix has just arrived from its own world, and I assure you, it functions perfectly fine there, but it might not be used to the environment here yet. Just like jetlag. If you adopt this beautiful creature, I promise it won’t burn even once in your lifetime. But he is not my only offer! Let’s go meet the other animals.”

Your legs lead you unwittingly into the store, the inner child in you now terribly fascinated. The leprechaun leads you toward a wall of cages and stops in front of the largest cage.

“There’s my favorite right there: the unicorn. Look at her beautiful horn! Try petting her mane…it’s actually quite soft.”

The unicorn rears back, and her horn falls off. The leprechaun jumps to action. “So…that’s definitely normal too! I guess you can say they’re all a bit jetlagged.”

You are starting to find this guy a little insulting—but it’s alright. You are still curious by the display of creatures held in this building. You turn to inspect one you don’t quite recognize – is that a pegasus, you wonder? A horse with wings? 

While you are turned away from the leprechaun, pondering your memories of middle school English class and studying various myths, you do not see the leprechaun proceed to pick the unicorn’s horn up. You also do not see him pull out gorilla glue and secretly apply it to the plastic horn. He then sticks the item back onto the unicorn’s head. When you finally turn back from the pegasus to the salesman right after, to see the unicorn looking perfectly fine. 

“There! Look, it attached itself back! That’s the unicorn’s power—it can grow its horn back, no matter what.” 

But before you have a moment to respond, your attention shifts, because the phoenix, still in his cage, cremates himself again. Before the leprechaun can turn around to see what is happening, the pegasus tries taking flight, but when he does, you can see that one of its wings is fake. 

“I’m sorry sir, is that a pegasus? Why is one of its wings…plastic? What happened to it?”

You stand there, waiting for the leprechaun to answer your question, but he is too busy trying to fan off the phoenix. Frustrated, you move down the line of cages, hoping to find a functioning mythical animal, and then you spot a baby dragon. Its green scales glimmer in the store light, and you know that this is the one. You consider putting the little man out of his misery and stating, “I’ll take this one!” but you’re starting to learn. You wait for the dragon to breathe fire, just to make sure. He smiles sweetly, perhaps understanding what you are expecting, takes in a great big breath and… puffs out a few clouds of smoke. He falls back onto his butt and looks at you in surprise. You both think that’s not what was meant to happen.

You turn to the leprechaun: “Isn’t that dragon supposed to…”

“Heheheh…” the leprechaun chuckles as he throws a cloth over the dragon’s cage. “What dragon? I don’t have a dragon.”

Weirded out, you try to leave, muttering, “This is clearly a waste of my time.”

“No…no…wait!” You haven’t even seen all the creatures!”

Scared that the leprechaun might cast some kind of curse on you, you reluctantly follow him back to the pegasus. 

“Ah, yes, so you see the pegasus, found it in the Amazon forest. Took me quite a long time, but as you are the first customer, you get 50% off! So I do suggest you adopt something. Of course, the unicorn is the most special and most expensive, so the discount would be more meaningful if you bought her.” 

A sinking feeling takes control of your limbs. “I’m sorry, but I really don’t think I’ll be able to take care of a mythical creature…” 

With that, the leprechaun leans in a little closer and softens his voice. “Are you sure? I can sense you longing for companionship. I mean, you always see your friends with their pets. But cats and dogs are boring! Why not adopt a unicorn? In doing so, you are also saving a unicorn from a life in a cage…or worse! Besides, they are much cuter than your everyday pet…”

You look back at the unicorn, and you swear it smiles at you. Your heart melts a little, and you think about how perhaps the leprechaun may be onto something. This little exotic, mythical girl would be much more interesting than the pomeranians and jack russell terriers that riddle the parks. You also hate the idea of her being stuck in a cage. And just like that, you are persuaded to adopt the unicorn.

The exchange of money, paperwork, and the creature occurs so quickly that you almost can’t remember what happened. You are now walking the unicorn to your car, still in shock. You have adopted a mythical creature. Before today, you had never even believed they existed, but here you are, positioning your new friend into the passenger seat of your car and getting into the driver’s seat. Just as you are about to turn the key in the ignition, you look back at the animal to make sure this wasn’t all a dream. 

“I shall name you…” But before you can, as the creature cocks its head to the right, the horn falls off again. When it lands on the floor, it crumbles and breaks entirely. You wait for the horn to grow back, but it never does. The ‘unicorn’ really only looks magical because of its pink and blue mane, and you wonder — is that even real? Was the hair just dyed? 

You realize that you have been punked. Groaning, your head falls to the steering wheel. 

“Actually, my name is Sparkles,” you hear a voice say.

You turn back in shock as the unicorn, if you can call it that now, smiles at you. You rationalize with yourself a little bit — it didn’t talk. It can’t talk. Animals don’t talk. And it is as if the creature is inside your mind. 

“Yes, we do talk. Especially the magical creatures. You aren’t making this up, girl. I am talking to you.”

Your hands fall off the steering wheel and onto your lap. You inhale a breath and speak:  “Listen, Sparkles, I am so sorry. This is a complete misunderstanding, but I really can’t take care of a unicorn. I have to return you.”

You swear you can see the unicorn’s eyes become those sad cartoon eyes you’ve seen in kids’ shows, but you remind yourself that this was all a mistake. It is not your fault.

“C’mon, let’s go,” you command, but the unicorn sits unbudging. You open the car door, panic-walk to the side of the car where the creature sits, and give the unicorn a death stare before trying to pull it out by one of its hooves. Surprisingly, the unicorn is strong enough to hold on to the car. You let go and look at her positioning her hooves against the door frame.

“NO! You adopted me! You just CAN’T give me back!” The unicorn opens her mouth to cough a cloud of glitter into your face. You try again, pulling with all your might and finally manage to pull out a single hoof, and just like that, you are suddenly playing tug-of-war with a unicorn. You both try to pull back, but in the end, you are stronger, and the unicorn comes tumbling out of the car.

You walk back to the plaza, carrying the creature in your arms… but the adoption center has disappeared, and has been replaced by its normal, abandoned look. You near the windows, which are now covered in dust and years of neglect. Inside, you see the disarray of what must have been a pet store decades earlier. There is no sign of anything living in there, or that anything had ever been there just moments before.

You can’t believe your eyes. The only thing you hear is the giggle of Sparkles, the broken unicorn, in your arms.

“Well, I guess you’re stuck with me.”