Anxiety fills my mind with every step: this is the worst idea. Something will go wrong; why even leave the apartment? But I keep pushing myself to take another step towards the door, attempting to remind myself that I have to do this now. 

With each movement I can feel my heart rate increase; I can feel people's eyes on me. I don’t know if it's in my head, but I swear I hear someone sneer, “Did she seriously leave her house like that?” 

No. Stop that, Sarah. Not today. No one is looking at you; no one is talking about you or even thinking about you. No one even notices you.

Today is the day you walk outside those doors to start a new chapter; this has gone on for too long. 

I step behind the staircase to my left and put in my headphones. Maybe if I can’t hear what’s going on around me, it won’t all be so overwhelming. 

As I move closer to the massive glass doors, I can see the public rushing by on the other side of them. They’re all pushing passed each other like it’s no big deal...because it’s not, I tell myself unconvincingly. 

Nothing is going to happen – I repeat this in my head. Everything is going to be okay. 

While looking through the glass, I notice a street performer just across the way. She dances with a level of poise that is unfathomable to my uncoordinated, graceless self. 

With each gesture, she exudes a self-confidence that everyone around her feels. It emanates off of her, like a glowing signal. 

I look around the performer, to the crowd that she has gathered. How is she so comfortable with all those eyes on her? I flinch at the possibility of being the center of attention, but she seems to somehow flourish in it.

My attention shifts back to the dancer’s face and for the first time, I notice that her eyes are closed. Does she even know how many people are watching her?

I keep my focus on her face for a while longer and she still does not open her eyes, not once. But then I notice one more thing: she’s smiling. She knows. She must.

So I place my hands on the cool metal handles of the doors in front of me. I push the air out of my lungs and push open the last barrier between me and the outside.